


Tech support Q-branch

by traveler0145



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Phone Calls & Telephones, Tags Are Hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:14:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25333738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/traveler0145/pseuds/traveler0145
Summary: Q-branch has a regular phone number for stranded agents, but having a regular number means regular people call.
Comments: 7
Kudos: 46
Collections: 007 Fest Fancreations





	Tech support Q-branch

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a post by @I-never-leave-my-house on Tumblr.

It was a well known fact that Q-branch had a phone number. 

Stranded Agents or even Agents on long term missions were given the number to request intel or updates. Access to vital information was granted once the agents stated their designation and mission code. 

It was, generally speaking, a useful feature, as it made handlers on longterm missions obsolete. There simply had to be someone on phone operating duty at all times. 

It was a little known fact that Q-branch hated having a phone number. Not as much as having to monitor longterm missions 24/7, but still. The problem with the globally accessible number was a simple one. Having a regularly registered phone number meant that regular people called.

"Hiiii- Honey I'm so sorry, I can't make it home early tonight there's --"

"Tech support media international, operator six. How may I help you today?"

"Oh -- Oh I'm so sorry, wrong number."

"Really, I would never have guessed, have a nice day."

"Tech support media international, operator six. How may I help you today?"

"...Wait, are you a woman?"

"I'm afraid so, sir."

"How are you supposed to help me with my problem? Get me someone else on the line!”

”If you could wait a mo, there will be someone else here shortly ... Hello, my name is Rose, my coworker tells me you requested another operator?"

"Yes! But not another woman, I need someone to help me with my phone."

"So you, a man, need help with his phone, which are frankly ridiculously easy to operate these days, and you don't want to speak to a woman because...?"

"Every one knows women know jack shit about science, men are just better at that sort of stuff, now, get me a professional on the line!"

"Hello, my second in command has just informed me that there is a problem?"

"Yes my smartphone--"

"--wait a mo, you don't know how to operate a smartphone but you refuse help from a woman who has a degree in technical engineering?"

"...yeah, so what?"

"Have a terrible day sir!"

“Tech support media international, operator six. How may I help you today?”

“Oh - Uhm -- would you like to sign a petition?”

“...Depends. Whats the petition for?”

“More translucency in government organisations?”

“Sounds ... interesting. What kind of government organisations?”

“Well, stuff like the GCHQ, DI, MI5, MI6 you know?”

“Yeah, nooo. I don’t thinks so.”

"Tech support media international, operator six. How may I help you today?"

"...HELLO?"

"Tech support media International operator six. Do you require any assistance?"

"...YES."

"There is no need to speak so loudly ma'am, I can hear you just fine."

"Ah... well, my grandson, teddy, he said I should call you --about the, the computer?”

"Ma'am, what is the problem with your computer?"

"It's stuck!”

"Have you tried turning It on and off again?"

"Tech support media international, operator six, how may I help you?"

"My laptop is frozen and--"

"Have you tried turning it on and off again?”

"No, but--"

\--*Beep*--  
"Tech support media international, operator six. Have you tried turning It on and off again?"

"No i --"

"Well, then do that."

"No this is 004."

"Sorry 004, what do you need?”

"You sound like you had an interesting morning."

"You have no idea. Do you want to talk to R? She's right there."

"Usually I wouldn't say no to that, except I'm in a bit of situation over here."

"Why didn't you lead with that?"

"Hello tech support media international, operator six, how may I help you today?"

"Hello? My grandson told me this was his work number?"

"What is your grandsons name?"

"uhm, Alexander Williams."

"Yes he ... works... here should I put you through?"

"Oh, that would be lovely! I haven't heard from him in months!"

“Alright ma’am, if you could wait a mo...”

"002. Did you seriously give our phone number to your grandmother so she could call you on missions?"

"Yes? how else am I supposed to be in contact when I'm away for five months?"

"You're not supposed to be--- nevermind. She wants to talk to you, I'll put you through."

"Aw thanks! Tell Q I'll bring tea as an apology!"

"You could just return your equipment..."

"No, I'll bring tea. 002 signing off."


End file.
